The Art of Getting Along

THE ART OF GETTING ALONG WITH PEOPLE

By Dr Victor S.L. Tan

NST/klassifieds/November 2017

OVER the years in the corporate world, I have observed that the success of one's career depends on one very important skill - the art of getting along with people. All the knowledge, skills and experience will not help if one cannot work with people. In fact, there are a lot of people not moving up the corporate ladder because they are difficult to get along with and they are where they are because of this weakness.

Yet, if employees would learn to get along with one another, there are great benefits to companies as well as individuals:

-People will communicate more effectively

-They will trust one another more

-There will be less conflict

-They will be better team spirit

-Productivity will increase

-Morale of staff will be higher

-Individuals will be less stressed

-The workplace will be harmonious and people happier

Here are six proven ways of getting along with people.

1. Respect One Another

One very essential value to help us get along with people is a genuine respect for others.

Yes, we may come across some seemingly difficult characters, but if we begin with respect for them, it already starts with the right footing. Think of it this way; if god had also created such people and deemed them as worthwhile, then the very least we could do is to show respect for such people. It is amazing how the power of respect can win over "seemingly difficult people". Psychologists tell us that a lot of so called "difficult people" are actually suffering from low self­esteem. By showing them respect, we actually enhance their self­esteem and make them "easier" to get along with.

2. Take The Initiative To Get To Know Others

There is one effective way to get people to like you. It is by taking a genuine interest in them.

A good way for effective rapport- building is to ask about the other person's interests, their work, their concerns and their families. Some people may come across as "unfriendly" initially but once you break the ice and show your interest, they will begin to respond warmly and they may even end up being good friends with you.

3. Look At The Better Side Of The Other Person

No one is perfect. If we are to pick on each and every flaw of people then we will find it hard to get along with everybody. The key is to focus on the strengths of people rather than their weaknesses. People make mistakes. However, the art of getting along with people starts with recognising the right things people do and complimenting them. This is the concept of catching people doing the right things and reinforcing that behaviour to encourage its sustainability in the future. We certainly cannot condone the mistakes others made. However, people are more open to correct their mistakes later, if they are first recognised for those things that they do right.

4. Learn To Resolve Conflict

There is no escape from conflict in the workplace.

Even for the best people working together, situations will arise that lead to conflict. Addressing conflict the right way will ensure that people can continue to work harmoniously with one another. It is important to first understand the real situation and then acknowledge the problem. Communication should be open and focus on issues rather than individuals. A persuasive approach will work better than a coercive one. The strategy selected to resolve the conflict must result in a win/win outcome for both parties.

5. Watch Your Tone Of Voice And Non-Verbal Gestures

Often it is not what one says that offend the other person, it is the way he or she says it. If we use a sarcastic tone in our suggestion to correct someone's mistakes, the person will retaliate and defend himself. Likewise, if we frown or exhibit displeasure, the party affected will not take it well. He or she might fight back all the way resulting in a full- fledged conflict. Watch what we say but, more importantly, be very careful with the tone of your voice and your body language as you communicate with others. Make these your allies rather than your enemies if you want to get along with people.

6. Being Magnanimous

The ultimate way of getting along with people is being magnanimous. People who are magnanimous have a generous attitude in showing kindness or forgiveness of any insult or wrong that others have done them.

They do not take uncalled-for remarks or insensitive outbursts personally. They do not seek revenge or harbour resent as they refuse to let such "pettiness" bog them down. The magnanimous person practices what Eleanor Roosevelt advocated, "Nobody can get you upset without your consent". When a person is magnanimous, he has a big heart and he does not let tiny and trivial matters affect his mood and wellbeing. And that is a magnetic person that everyone will find easy to get along with.

Human resources are not the key asset of a company until their people learn to get along with one another. Calling all HR leaders to get their people to start practicing the above 6 desired work behaviours as these are, indeed, the critical factors for success in business.

  

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The Art of Getting Along

By Eric Butterworth

Life is set in the framework of human relations. Though conflicts arise between people, human beings are essentially gregarious creatures. Getting along with people is certainly a prerequisite to happiness and security because all humankind is interdependent. But, even more, it is a longing of the heart that arises out of the transcendent awareness of unity. People yearn for "repose in God" because they innately know that they are one in Spirit. And they are restless and uneasy in the face of all human conflict because they sense that beyond the appearance of separation there is an underlying bond of divine love...

The art of getting along is not a psychological gimmick by which to love the unlovable and communicate with the incommunicable. It is not simply adjusting to or making the best of human perversity. The "getting along" relates only secondarily to the other person. Primarily, it refers to getting along with the reality of your Self and the determination to keep the channels of  consciousness free from any and all obstructions.

There is a flow of harmony and love everywhere, whether you are aware of it or not, and whether you are consciously moving in it or not. This is what the "omnipresence of God" means. You do not leave the presence of God or the flow of life and love when you are negative or resistant. You leave the consciousness of the Presence. But you are in the flow and the flow is in you every moment and in every experience…

Healthcare Industry

Big data and the future of healthcare industry

By Kamal Brar 

Vice President and General Manager of a big data software company.

New Straits Times/Opinion/November 30, 2017

ONE of the greatest challenges facing governments around the world is how to provide their citizens with effective and affordable healthcare. This is in fact a highly complex set of problems with multiple causes and a variety of actions needed in response. Happily, advances in technology are holding out the promise of addressing the challenge.

As in developed countries around the world, Malaysia’s healthcare providers must deal with a rapidly ageing population, leading to an influx of patients, and increasing pressure on general practitioners and hospital emergency departments. People are living longer — which actually reflects one of Malaysia’s success stories — healthcare. In the 60 years since independence, we have increased our lifespan by about 20 years.
Improvements in primary public healthcare, such as sanitation, food safety and protection against infectious diseases via vaccination, have all contributed to this increased life expectancy. Unfortunately, however, living longer has not translated to better quality of life.

Of particular concern are the statistics on obesity and diabetes. The National Health and Morbidity Survey 2015 revealed that obese Malaysians make up 17.7 per cent of the population, compared with just 4.4 per cent in 1996.

The same survey found that 17.5 per cent of Malaysians aged 18 and above — around 3.5 million people — have diabetes. In 2006, this figure was 11.6 per cent.

One thing is clear from these numbers — more Malaysians are having to live longer in ill health.

Will the country be able to cope with the increasing number of the elderly and ill? The proposed Aged Healthcare Act is a start, though its primary aim is better regulation and monitoring of aged healthcare centres in the country.

The healthcare industry has always generated large amounts of data for purposes of patient care, compliance and record-keeping. The advent of the Internet of Things has caused an explosion in data, from sensors to health-tracking applications and devices that healthcare providers can tap into to optimise resources, bring greater efficiencies and develop an integrated healthcare system.

The capture and analysis of this mass of raw data has the potential to transform healthcare, to enhance the accessibility, affordability and quality of healthcare to meet the needs of Malaysians across different stages of their healthcare journey — from diagnosis and treatment, to post-discharge follow-up.

Big data in healthcare refers to electronic health data sets that are so large and complex that it would be difficult to manage and analyse using traditional software and data management tools and methods. With big data, healthcare organisations have the ability to let multiple hospitals exchange information, leading to a 360-view of their patients, so doctors can give a more complete diagnosis.

Healthcare services companies have gained significant value through the ability to take in data from a variety of sources, such as lab and patient data, to recognise patterns and supply this data to doctors to provide recommendations on how patients can improve their health. Without Big Data, none of this would be possible and healthcare organisations would be operating without having the complete picture.

When a person’s medical records are shared among all public health institutions, the patient’s journey is simplified from primary to tertiary care, in both the public and private sectors, as any doctor treating the patient would have full access to his or her medical records

There are many other ways in which technology is being adopted, putting health data to work in the pursuit of improved healthcare.

For example, hospitals have begun to use radio-frequency identification (RFID) to track equipment and medicines as they move throughout their facilities. RFID scans of an item or device can capture their contents, location, manufacture date, order numbers and shipping data. This information can ensure medicines are utilised before their expiry date or quickly locate an important piece of equipment.

In the longer term, historical data on the interactions of medicines, equipment and doctors will provide valuable information for healthcare predictive analytics, as well as helping to plan purchases, train staff and improve operational efficiency.

In another advance on traditional practice, wireless sensors are being used to capture and transmit patient vitals more frequently than staff can make bedside visits. These signals can provide real-time alerts, so caregivers can respond more promptly to unexpected changes. Accumulating this data over time enables healthcare predictive analytics to proactively help predict the likelihood of an emergency, even before it could be detected with a bedside visit.

One common problem with our existing healthcare system is re-admission rates. Patients with heart disease, for example, are closely monitored in the hospital, but may skip their medications or ignore dietary and self-care instructions when they go home.

Healthcare, especially on a national level, will continue to be a major challenge for authorities. Demographic and lifestyle changes in populations, as well as outbreaks of unanticipated diseases, will constantly demand innovative responses from governments and the healthcare profession.

Fortunately, advances in healthcare data analytics are keeping pace with the evolving nature of the challenge. Patients and healthcare staff alike can be confident that technology is on their side.

Read more…

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Masculine Factor

The masculine factor

Posted on 2 August 2017 - 10:46am

Jonathan Tan

FOR a man, testosterone levels are a major driving force in the overall quality of life.

They play a key role in the development of male reproductive tissues, such as the testis and prostate, as well as promote secondary sexual characteristics, such as increased muscle and bone mass, and the growth of body hair.

Incidentally, women do also produce testosterone, but in smaller quantities than men.

For athletes, increased testosterone levels help them perform better in their sport, which is why when an athlete is caught for doping, it is often for the use of anabolic steroids, which boost testosterone production in the body, and increase muscle mass and strength.

During the 1970s and 1980s, Olympic athletes in then-East Germany were subject to state-sanctioned doping.

While immediate physical changes were not obvious in male athletes, except for an increase in bulk, female athletes began developing masculine characteristics, such as increased facial and body hair.

All the athletes involved in the doping programme suffered from long-term physical and psychological damage as a result of doping.

Fortunately today, the risks of steroid abuse is well-known, and many prefer to stay fit naturally, without the use of drugs.

Maintaining healthy testosterone levels means getting adequate amounts of required daily activity, as well as vitamins, minerals, and nutrients through your diet. 

In addition to building strength, testosterone is involved in the prevention of osteoporosis.

Insufficient levels of testosterone in men may lead to abnormalities, including frailty and bone loss.

In other words, your testosterone levels are a solid biomarker for overall health. 

The problem is, modern society has developed in a way that has led to a complete downshift in our hormones.

And supplement companies are aware of this downward trend, and are marketing the solution in the form of testosterone booster supplements, which claim to use natural herbs to help increase testosterone.

But what actually does work to promote testosterone production in the body? Proteins.

Proteins have always been associated with muscle building, and that’s because proteins contain plenty of zinc and vitamin D.

To improve the testosterone levels through meat consumption, choose meats that are high in protein.

Chicken breast, at approximately 10g per ounce, offers a high protein content, while a pork chop averages 22g of protein.

Beef and fish weigh in at an average of 7g and 6.5g per ounce respectively, meaning an average steak or fillet contains between 22g and 25g of protein.

That, however, does not necessarily mean vegans eat less proteins. Meat proteins are just different from plant-based proteins.

Do note that increasing your ‘T levels’ even further through extra supplementation will not have a significant impact on your T-cells (white blood cells key to supporting the immune system). It just goes to waste.

To increase testosterone levels, you really need to make changes in your lifestyle. 

Here’s what you can do:

»Get in the range of sub -25% body fat
Excess body fat produces an enzyme that converts testosterone into estrogen. Yes, estrogen, that girly hormone.

»Eat a varied, balanced diet
Ensure that you’re eating a balanced and diverse diet that provides your body with the essential macro- and micro- nutrients. Just eating one food group alone is not recommended.

For example, many have been subscribing to a protein diet. Too much protein in our system can harm our kidneys.

»Lift weights and get stronger
Exercise is a two-pronged tool. It helps regulate testosterone and manages stress.

»Sleep for seven to nine hours every single night 
Sleep is the building block of all things cellular. Your body builds and repairs when you’re sleeping. 

Any imbalance in these areas will decrease your testosterone levels. Fixing them will increase your testosterone levels naturally. 

I’m a firm believer that supplements should only be used for what they’re made for – to supplement your diet and lifestyle. However, many men approach supplements as the be-all-end-all. 

Our major focus should be on making simple diet and lifestyle changes to allow our body to function more optimally. 

Let’s be Fit!  

Money can buy happiness

August 1, 2017

IF YOU think money can't buy you happiness you might be spending it on the wrong things, with new research suggesting that buying yourself extra time can in fact lead to greater levels of life satisfaction.

Carried out by researchers from the University of British Columbia, Canada, and Harvard Business School, the US, the team surveyed 6,271 adults in the United States, Denmark, Canada and the Netherlands.

Participants were asked how much money they spent each month buying themselves free time, such as paying someone to carry out household chores like cleaning and cooking.

The researchers found that regardless of income, those who spent money on things that saved them time reported greater life satisfaction.

"People who hire a housecleaner or pay the kid next door to mow the lawn might feel like they're being lazy," said study lead author Ashley Whillans, assistant professor at Harvard Business School.

"But our results suggest that buying time has similar benefits for happiness as having more money."

"The benefits of buying time aren't just for wealthy people," added UBC psychology professor and the study's senior author Elizabeth Dunn.

"We thought the effects might only hold up for people with quite a bit of disposable indome, but to our surprise, we found the same effects across the income spectrum."

However, despite the benefit of time-saving purchases, researchers were surprised to find that very few people actually chose to spend their money in this way in their daily life.

"Lots of research has shown that people benefit from buying their way into pleasant experiences, but our research suggests people should also consider buying their way out of unpleasant experiences," said Dunn. - AFP-Relaxnews

Understanding Your SKIN

How to choose the right Derma Skincare

“Derma Skincare developed by dermatologists have gone through many clinical studies therefore the efficacy and safety of the products have been established.”

WITH increasing levels of stress in our daily lives, combined with adverse environmental factors, our skin is bound to deteriorate. It is therefore unsurprising that Derma Skincare products are becoming increasingly popular.

With the large selection of brands of skincare in the market, it is important to educate yourself to make the correct choice for yourself.

Associate Prof Dr Adrian Yong said: “The cosmeceutical market is mature throughout the world.However, not all brands available in the market have been dermatologically tested for efficacy and safety.”          

He added that Derma Skincare developed by dermatologists and chemists have gone through many clinical studies therefore the efficacy and safety of the products have been established.

He said that since dermatologists understand the difference between skin types and skin conditions hence they know the best ways to care for skin and manage its challenges such as acne, oil control and sensitive skin.

In conclusion, only after understanding your skin well, can you have a chance at choosing a skincare product that is suitable to solve your problem.

Here, Yong shares a few tips with theSun readers on how to choose the most suitable Derma Skincare products for your skin.

 OILY AND ACNE-PRONE SKIN

Myths Wash your face frequently using exfoliating facial cleanser. Try till Excessive washing using unsuitable products will further aggravate the skin. The symptoms of acne-prone skin include skin peeling, increased sebum secretion, bacterial growth and skin inflammation.

Solution; Choose Derma Skincare which contains four active ingredients such as L-camitine, decanediol, lactic acid and licochalcone extract. These ingredients can directly target the root cause of acne by reducing its sebum secretion, provide anti­bacterial effect and tighten pores.

Besides that, salicylic acid and mandelic acid can help remove

DRY SKIN

Myths: Choose a rich and thick face cream.

Truth: Skin pores can be clogged if you apply a thick cream onto dry and peeling skin. Dry skin indicates that sebum production is inadequate leading to the inability to retain moisture. The skin's protective layer is also weakened hence it is easily irritated and becomes red with rashes. This can cause the skin to feel tight or rough with poor elasticity, wrinkles and fine lines may occur.

Solution; Use products which contain hyaluronic acid and glycine-saponin which can lock-in moisture while increasing skin's natural moisturising factor.

SENSITIVE SKIN

Myths: Only use products that are made from natural ingredients.

Truth: The use of natural ingredients in skincare is not governed so it can be difficult to determine if the products touted as "natural" are authentic, pure, safe or efficient. What's more, many different things can trigger a reaction - from stress and sunlight to the weather and even the products we use because sensitive skin reacts to substances that may be perfectly fine for normal or non­sensitive skin.

Solution: Products with a mildly acidic pH level have been proven to strengthen skin’s defences by stimulating its natural protective enzymes. For example, Eucerin's pH5 shower gel and lotion can help stabilise skin's pH value while strengthening the skin barrier.

AGEING SKIN

Myths: Frequent use of skincare can slow down skin ageing.

Truths: Ageing skin is affected by genetics, hormonal changes, slower metabolism and blood circulation, with smoking, UV exposure and pollution adding to the problem This can lead to skin dryness and sensitivity, reduced elasticity, dullness and the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles.

Solutions: To address this multitude of challenges requires using products containing a precise combination of proven ingredients, backed by clinical research, to help stimulate the natural processes of the skin, restoring radiance and improving skin texture. This includes supplying vital nutrients that support connective tissues and cell renewal, as well as ingredients that fight the effects of free radicals and UV exposure.

Michelle Lee - TV Presenter

MICHELLE LEE

Astro Football Overload

Michelle Lee gets the ball rolling on what catches her attention and how you can impress a girl like her.

Flash Those Pearly Whites

“I always notice guys’ postures. The way they stand, carry themselves, walk... the way you look like you don’t want to be there or like you own the room—it’s very obvious and comes through. Typically, the men I notice are the ones that are confident. Don’t slouch, walk confidently and smile—it shows that you’re comfortable with yourself.”

Don’t be a Cock

“Confidence is knowing you’re good enough, but not showing it off. Cockiness is telling the whole world and basically exaggerating what you actually have. There’s a difference even with athletes—confident versus cocky ones—in their games and competitions. There are some guys who are like ‘I’m the best in the world’ but people are actually beating your ass. So don’t show off.’’

Keep Yours Hands Off

“If a girl seems like she doesn’t want to talk with you, don’t continue the conversation. If she’s backing off, don’t go and chase her. I’ve been in situations where people are extra touchy-feely around me and that makes me uncomfortable. It’s okay to talk, but when you start touching my arm and all when we’ve obviously just met, it’s crossing the line.”

Fire Up with Passion

“I’m drawn to men who are ambitious and driven. Passion is really sexy. When they talk about what they love, it’s very alluring. It’s a huge turn on to see them put so much energy into something. Ambition, drive, passion-all that translates into a relationship too. If you’re passionate about me, you’re gonna put a lot of work into the relationship as well. ”

Michelle Lee's


Michelle Lee's New Home
Behind The Scenes
50 Questions With Michelle Lee

“Michelle Lee’s the golden girl on Astro Football Overload, The TV presenter and radio deejay strips down and bares her thoughts on love, relationships and how you can score with gals.

“I’m drawn to men who are ambitious and driven. Passion is really sexy. When they talk about what they love, it’s very alluring. It’s a huge turn on to see them put so much energy into something.”

EVER WONDERED WHAT A ROMANTIC staycation in the city with Michelle Lee would be like? Picture this: Michelle pulling the duvet across her bare shoulders and kicking her feet between the sheets in a suite at Grand Hyatt Kuala Lumpur. You’re probably used to hearing the Astro Football Overload host and Hitz.FM deejay dishing out detailed game analysis, but today she’s opening up about what she likes in a man and how you can set the sparks flying.

“Travelling together is good,” Michelle says. "Your relationship grows because you’re spending an excessive amount of time together and things are bound to go wrong when you travel.

You get to see how your partner handles situations like meeting new people, especially the ones who don’t even speak your own language.”

Though seemingly minor, these revelations are vital Easter eggs in the curious domain of relationships. “It basically opens you up to who your partner really is—whether they’re the kind who would rough it out or needs to be pampered wherever they go.” There’s a merit to travelling in a relationship, “It’s good bonding time because you experience new things and create memories together.” Michelle unveils an added bonus behind this: It gives the both of you something to laugh about in the future.

Is bunking a hotel room with your lady friend a cause for concern? Michelle sheds light on the importance of touch and physical intimacy, describing it as “a whole different level of being able to know a person and being comfortable to that degree.” She confesses that she finds it hard to be physically intimate with someone, “I really need to get to know a guy before I’m even ready to kiss him.” She acknowledges that she’s even been called a prude, but don’t get her wrong; Michelle’s just held back by an innate sense of self-preservation.

It doesn’t take rocket science to make a gal feel comfortable. According to Michelle, the equation is simple: A good dose of honesty mixed with sincerity. “Don’t lie or fake anything cause that would just ruin everything you built up,” she warns. “If you’re talking about sex, don’t be pushy.” She points out guys need to understand that a relationship doesn’t necessarily equate to sex, “Don’t think if she’s your girlfriend, she’s automatically going to sleep with you. It should never be that way.” Different people have different principles, she notes; everyone has a different take on what physical intimacy means to them. Mirroring an Austen-esque notion on the role your intentions play in courtship, she quips, “Your aim in making her feel comfortable shouldn’t be because you want to bed her. Don’t you love her and want her to be happy?”

Michelle highlights that the guys who made a lasting impression on her were those who went above and beyond the call of duty. “It’s not anything specific,” she says. “I like to be independent and do things on my own. But I’ve been with guys who went out of their way for my safety because they knew that I was in need.” She mentions a significant other who had driven all the way to Sepang at 4am to pick her up after a job, only to drop her home and give her a wakeup call the next day, “I’m not saying you have to do whatever I say, but I think it’s romantic when you naturally want to go out of your way for love.” Michelle talks about her career, sharing that she measures how far she’s come through the milestones achieved like landing a regular TV hosting gig and venturing into radio. A driven individual who embraces challenges, Michelle says that she’d love to break into a different genre like travel or even tech. “The way I was raised was about putting in a lot of hard work. I was never born with a silver spoon in my mouth—I had to work for everything. Your mentality is the first thing that will motivate you because it’s always mind over matter.”

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Girl Next Door…

Email our regular contributor Vivian Chong your questions on women, love, dating and sex to editor@mens-health.com.my

My girlfriend hasn’t been able to find a job for almost a year now.

I can support her financially, but how much is too much?

ADRIAN, SELANGO

A year is a long stretch to be unemployed. It’s okay to provide for her basic needs, but when excessive costs are incurred, that’s when the magic carpet ride needs to end. That being said, bear in mind there is very little motivation to find a job if financial woes aren’t peeking at the corner. Perhaps all she needs is a little inspiration. To do this, apply the reward method: “When you get a job, let’s go celebrate at [insert a fancy restaurant name].”

I’ve fallen for a female friend of mine, but she has a boyfriend. Should I speak up?

BEN. KUALA LUMPUR

Before you utter those fateful words, ask yourself what you are trying to gain from telling her: A relationship? That she'll come running straight into your arms because you’re the better man? As hard as the truth may be to swallow, she's dating someone she wants to be with. If that relationship is rock solid, your confession will do little to shake up their foundation. And if it's not, your declaration will just be an invitation to become the third wheel until she handles her own.

My girlfriend gave me a key to her place. Does that mean I need to do the same?

MELVIN, KUALA LUMPUR

Just because she’s ready for that kind of commitment doesn't mean you have to be. The sharing of a unit, especially in the form of key exchange, often means more than just come over for dinner every now and then and watch the games. She’s hinting at settling down and having this arrangement be more permanent. Have a conversation with her and dish out all the hard topics like "Where do you see us going?” and “What does this mean for us?” Who knows, you might be ready to commit by the end of that chat.

How do I break it to her that I hate the pet name she gave me?

ZAINAL. JOHOR BAHRU

Whatever happened to the generic call of adoration such as “babe”, “darling”, “honey” and “baby”? There is no safe way to tell her to stop using the pet name she has assigned to you since that has become a habit and how she communicates her affection for you. However, you can tell her to keep that particular pet name to enclosed settings where there are just the two of you. If that doesn’t work, a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. Let her ride out the novelty of the expression and she’ll move on to something else.

Should I tell my partner there’s a somewhat indecent photo of me online?

RAMESH, MELAKA

While honesty is the best policy, sometimes it’s wiser to withhold lesser information until it comes to light. You’ve obviously had a past that she wasn't always a part of and unless she scavenges the Internet specifically searching for nude pictures of you, there’s only a slim chance that she’ll come across your birthday suit display. Regardless, if she does find it, just give her the lowdown and spare the details. Make light of the ordeal and she’ll respond in kind.

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