THE ART OF GETTING ALONG WITH PEOPLE
NST/klassifieds/November 2017
OVER the years in the corporate world, I
have observed that the success of one's career depends on one very important
skill - the art of getting along with people. All the knowledge, skills and
experience will not help if one cannot work with people. In fact, there are a
lot of people not moving up the corporate ladder because they are difficult to
get along with and they are where they are because of this weakness.
Yet, if employees would learn to get along
with one another, there are great benefits to companies as well as individuals:
-People will communicate more effectively
-They will trust one another more
-There will be less conflict
-They will be better team spirit
-Productivity will increase
-Morale of staff will be higher
-Individuals will be less stressed
-The workplace will be harmonious and
people happier
Here are six proven ways of getting along with people.
1. Respect One Another
One very essential value to help us get along with people is a genuine
respect for others.
Yes, we may come across some seemingly
difficult characters, but if we begin with respect for them, it already starts
with the right footing. Think of it this way; if god had also created such
people and deemed them as worthwhile, then the very least we could do is to
show respect for such people. It is amazing how the power of respect can win
over "seemingly difficult people". Psychologists tell us that a lot
of so called "difficult people" are actually suffering from low selfesteem.
By showing them respect, we actually enhance their selfesteem and make them
"easier" to get along with.
2. Take The Initiative To Get To Know Others
There is one effective way to get people
to like you. It is by taking a genuine interest in them.
A good way for effective rapport- building
is to ask about the other person's interests, their work, their concerns and
their families. Some people may come across as "unfriendly" initially
but once you break the ice and show your interest, they will begin to respond
warmly and they may even end up being good friends with you.
3. Look At The Better Side Of The Other
Person
No one is perfect. If we are to pick on
each and every flaw of people then we will find it hard to get along with
everybody. The key is to focus on the strengths of people rather than their
weaknesses. People make mistakes. However, the art of getting along with people
starts with recognising the right things people do and complimenting them. This
is the concept of catching people doing the right things and reinforcing that
behaviour to encourage its sustainability in the future. We certainly cannot
condone the mistakes others made. However, people are more open to correct
their mistakes later, if they are first recognised for those things that they
do right.
4. Learn To Resolve Conflict
There is no escape from conflict in the
workplace.
Even for the best people working together,
situations will arise that lead to conflict. Addressing conflict the right way
will ensure that people can continue to work harmoniously
with one another. It is important to first understand the real situation and
then acknowledge the problem. Communication should be open and focus on issues
rather than individuals. A persuasive approach will work better than a coercive
one. The strategy selected to resolve the conflict must result in a win/win
outcome for both parties.
5. Watch Your Tone Of Voice And Non-Verbal
Gestures
Often it is not what one says that offend
the other person, it is the way he or she says it. If we use a sarcastic tone
in our suggestion to correct someone's mistakes, the person will retaliate and
defend himself. Likewise, if we frown or exhibit displeasure, the party
affected will not take it well. He or she might fight back all the way
resulting in a full- fledged conflict. Watch what we say but, more importantly,
be very careful with the tone of your voice and your body language as you
communicate with others. Make these your allies rather than your enemies if you
want to get along with people.
6. Being Magnanimous
The ultimate way of getting along with people
is being magnanimous. People who are magnanimous have a generous attitude in
showing kindness or forgiveness of any insult or wrong that others have done
them.
They do not take uncalled-for remarks or
insensitive outbursts personally. They do not seek revenge or harbour resent as
they refuse to let such "pettiness" bog them down. The magnanimous
person practices what Eleanor Roosevelt advocated, "Nobody can get you
upset without your consent". When a person is magnanimous, he has a big
heart and he does not let tiny and trivial matters affect his mood and
wellbeing. And that is a magnetic person that everyone will find easy to get
along with.
Human resources are not the key
asset of a company until their people learn to get along with one another.
Calling all HR leaders to get their people to start practicing the above 6
desired work behaviours as these are, indeed, the critical factors for success
in business.
Read more…
Life is set in the framework of human
relations. Though conflicts arise between people, human beings are essentially
gregarious creatures. Getting along with people is certainly a prerequisite to
happiness and security because all humankind is interdependent. But, even more,
it is a longing of the heart that arises out of the transcendent awareness of
unity. People yearn for "repose in God" because they innately know
that they are one in Spirit. And they are restless and uneasy in the face of
all human conflict because they sense that beyond the appearance of separation
there is an underlying bond of divine love...
The art of getting along is not a
psychological gimmick by which to love the unlovable and communicate with the
incommunicable. It is not simply adjusting to or making the best of human
perversity. The "getting along" relates only secondarily to the other
person. Primarily, it refers to getting along with the reality of your Self and
the determination to keep the channels of consciousness free from any and
all obstructions.
There is a flow of harmony and love
everywhere, whether you are aware of it or not, and whether you are consciously
moving in it or not. This is what the "omnipresence of God" means.
You do not leave the presence of God or the flow of life and love when you are
negative or resistant. You leave the consciousness of
the Presence. But you are in the flow and the flow is in you every moment and
in every experience…
